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WISH 98: What’s New?

What are three games or settings that you’ve bought or seen recently (in stores or previews) that you’d really like to try? What interests you about them and why?

Short and sweet today:

Nobilis - Don't have, but I'm curious what the system's like.

Paranoia XP - Because I'm determined to get my boyfriend to run it for me after all the tales he's told me of Paranoia games.

Adventure! - Just bought it, and I'm working my way through the book. I've been dying to play a pulp game, but I'd settle for running it, too. *grins*

Perusing other answers, I see things that look interesting, like the Blue Rose thing... Hmm...
posted by sandrayln at 9:31:00 PM ( )

 

WISH 97: Bitch Bitch Bitch

What’s your take on player bitching/venting: complaints intended to relieve player stress and not to actually change things in the game? When and where and to whom is it appropriate? How should players and GMs handle it?

Okay, I've spent several days trying to puzzle out my answer to this. I'm not going to deny that I've been watching the thread on SoA from the beginning, and that my answer is being affected by said thread.

The effect of this is that I'm feeling rather testy about the whole thing.

The internet - particularly mass communication fora like bulletin boards, LiveJournal, and blogs - seems to breed a certain kind of behavior in any situation where emotion is invested. Anybody else watched an LJ trainwreck? How about a bulletin board one?

Yes, complaining about something is bound to set someone off. Venting will eventually make someone upset. Simple facts of life here, people.

But the thing that marks the difference between that train moving along, albeit roughly, and the wreck where something blows out the struts on that bridge the train's headed towards is reaction and overreaction.

A reaction is, "Player Z has said something about a game that might apply to my game. I don't like what they've said. I hope that's not my game; why don't I ask them about it?"

An overreaction is, "Player Z has said something about a game that might apply to my game. I don't like what they've said. Player Z is a stupid-head and I'm going to bitch them out now."

A reaction is, "Player Q has said something that is clearly about my game - since they named the game/their character/me. I don't care much for it, but I'm not sure if this is an actual complaint. Why don't I ask?"

An overreaction is, "Player Q has said something that is clearly about my game - since they named the game/their character/me. I don't care much for it. Player Q is an idiot and needs to be bitched out about it."

What I'm saying here is that I expect GMs to have a certain level of maturity about venting and critical comments - deserved or not. This particularly applies to non-specific comments made by players in more than one game! (Players who make non-specific comments about games and are only in one - well, those are probably best reconsidered...)

This is not to say, of course, that there aren't certain things a Player ought to do.

Things like making sure that complaints that you don't intend seriously don't sound serious.

Things like making sure that if you don't want a GM to read that complaint, make sure they can't read it. That includes if you think they're likely to take offense, whether you're serious or not! If you're on LJ, friends-lock and filter that puppy. If you're not - well, I'd rethink posting there. If you're on IM, you probably don't want to be saying it to the GM's spouse, best friend, or the game's tattle-tale player.

Oh, and maybe you ought to reconsider the non-specific comments if you're letting your GM(s) see the post.

Getting back to the GMs for a moment here - in the case of specific comments, if you think the player might not be serious, ask. If you don't know the player well and can't tell - ask. What's the worst that can happen? You might find out that it's an actual complaint?

Bloody hell, people, do I really need to be listing out things that really ought to be common sense?

Moving on.

To answer the question in the strictest method possible:

In the case of a player complaining to complain and/or relieve stress and not to change anything - let 'em. There's more harm in stifling that than there is in letting it happen, potential ego bruising aside. Bruises to the ego will heal; oppression feeds discontent.

The appropriateness of the venting depends on the situation. In purely public situations where entries and commentaries cannot be filtered, caution is probably best. Where things can be filtered, non-specificity is bad if the player will be letting their GMs (assuming participation in more than one game) see it. It should be clear whether the vent is intended to change the GM's behavior or not.

And, one more time: Players and GMs should handle the situation with maturity.

Now, a final disclaimer here - I've GMed, but the only thing resembling a complaint I've ever had was from someone who had a few issues with how I ran combat for him, and his issues coincided with mine. I'm mainly a player right now.

I do understand that having someone complain about something you're doing, no matter how trivial the complaint, can hurt. I do not, on the other hand, think that such injury should preclude making sure that the barb is aimed at you in the first place. And then, if it is (whether or not you had to ask to find out), being hurt shouldn't preclude finding out if it's a serious complaint or just blowing off steam for one reason or another. And finally, if it's blowing off steam and you're still hurt - y'know, your player probably wants to know that, so it can't hurt to politely and respectfully let them know that you didn't appreciate reading it.

It's up to a player to respect that. Players probably ought to try to know which GM will get upset at venting and which won't and should filter things accordingly. That means either asking or figuring out who's touchy and who isn't, and who's reactionary and who isn't.

The trend of commentary on the subject of this WISH has been to blame the player almost exclusively - and that sits very poorly with me. If a player chooses to vent and the GM chooses to blow up, that's two parties that share the blame for the resulting situation, not one. There are too many variables involved - unless I go into specific situations - to apportion that chunk of blame. My point, however, is that it's still shared.
posted by sandrayln at 2:21:00 AM ( )